Guard Your Heart (Proverbs 4)

When has your heart been glad? When has your heart been broken?

In the previous question, your “heart” is not the blood-pumping organ, it is the center of your thoughts, feelings, emotions and decisions.

What do you think it means that the heart is the “wellspring of life?”

Read Proverbs 4:23.  Rewrite this verse in your own words.

What do you think it means to “guard your heart?” What types of things do people need to guard their hearts agains? Why?

Give some examples of how everything in life flows from our hearts. When is this good? When is it not so good?

Read Proverbs 4:24-27. Which of these verses speaks most powerfully to you? Why?

These verses address how we speak, what we look at and where we go. How do each of these activities impact our heart?

If you regularly speak negative words, how will your heart be affected? If you regularly speak positive words, how will your heart be affected?

When are you most tempted to use negative words? How can you be aware of this temptation and overcome it?

What types of images (or anything we look at) can impact your heart negatively? How can you use your eyes to positively impact your heart?

When are you most tempted to look at unhealthy images? How can you be aware of this temptation and overcome it?

How can the places you go harm or help your heart?

When are you most tempted to go places that will hurt your heart? How can you be aware of this temptation and overcome it?

Make a list of three things you can do this week to guard your heart. Ask at least one other person to pray for you this week as you work on these items.

Use Prayer To Prepare Your Heart and The Hearts of Others (Mark 4)

Read Mark 4:1-20.

Why do you think Jesus began by saying, "Listen!"? Why is listening important?

Read the following verses about listening. In each verse, identify one principle about how listening can help you grow.

Proverbs 16:20 Matthew 7:24 Luke 11:28 James 1:22

The story Jesus told in Mark 4 describes four different types of people and how they respond to God's truth. In your own words, describe each of the four types of people.

The good soil talked about by Jesus represents a person with a receptive heart. How would you describe a heart that is receptive to God?

How would you describe a heart that is hardened to God? Has there been a time in your life when you've felt a hardness of heart toward God? How did He soften you?

Jesus explained that some people receive the truth at first but then fall away. In your experience, what causes people to walk away from God?

Since listening to God is important, take a moment and think about what God wants to say to you. If He was going to speak to you about one area of your life, what would it be? What would He say to you?

What is one thing God wants you to give up? What is one thing He wants you to begin doing?

Write down the names of 3-5 people you know who haven't yet accepted the truth about Jesus.

What is one thing you can say to them this week that might help them think about what God wants from them? How can you say it in love?

Take some time and pray for each of the people on your list. Pray that:

• God will soften their heart toward the truth
• God will reveal to them how much He loves you
• God will cause them to be curious about Jesus
• God will use you or someone else to speak the truth to them
• God will convict them of their sin and cause them to desire a new life
• Finally, pray that they will give their life to Jesus and begin following Him.

Use Your Words To Heal Others (Proverbs 12, 16, 18)

When has someone hurt you with their words? How did you respond? How did you want to respond?

When have your words hurt someone? What did you do to try to make it right?

Why do you think words can be so powerful?

Read the following proverbs. For each one, write down one truth it teaches about words:

• Proverbs 12:6
• Proverbs 12:18
• Proverbs 16:24
• Proverbs 18:6-8
• Proverbs 18:20-21

What kind of words are healing and positive? Think of a time when someone else used their words to encourage you. What did they do that was so helpful?

What verses or passages from the Bible have been positive and uplifting for you in the past? How have these words been healing for you?

Who do you know that needs to hear words that are healing? If you could share a healing Bible verse with one other person, who would it be? What would you share?

Who do you know that has been hurt by someone's words (maybe yours?) How can you use pleasant words to bring healing to them?

Where will you go this week that you can bring light with the way you talk? What encouraging and invigorating words will you share?

What words from God do you most need to hear today?

Find those words in His Word and keep them with you.

End Conflict: Stop Feeding the Fire (Proverbs 26)

- What is the most foolish argument you've had in the past month? How did it begin? How did it end?
- Think about the person with whom you argue more than anyone else. Why do you think this happens?
- Why do you think many arguments eventually lead to people gossiping about each other?
- Where are you most likely to be when you hear gossip? Why do you think that's true?
- How have relationships in your life suffered because of arguments or gossip?
- Read Proverbs 26:20. Rewrite the verse in your own words.
- How does this verse suggest you can bring an end to arguments and gossip? Is this a reasonable solution? Why or why not?
- How would your life be better if you cut in half the number of arguments or quarrels you have?
- What damaged relationship(s) would you like to see restored? Could this proverb help you end the fighting and bring restoration?
- Sometimes, ending an argument requires us to stop putting "coals on the fire". This is very difficult, especially when we are convinced we are right. Think about 2-3 conflicts you have had (or are having) in which you can stop feeding the flames.
- What specific actions will you take as a result of studying this proverb? How can you surround yourself with people who will support you in this effort?

Don't Be Stupid! (Proverbs 12)

When was the last time you were disciplined (work/ school/ home) for making a mistake? How did it help or hurt you?

When was the last time you had to discipline someone else? How did it hurt or help them?

Why do people not enjoy discipline?

When has someone corrected you in a loving way? How did you respond?

Read Proverbs 12:1.

This proverb consists of two statements that make essentially the same point. Write a third statement in your own words that communicates the same idea as this verse.

How do you feel about the word "stupid"? Why do you think the Bible uses such a strong word? How can you avoid being stupid?

How have you learned or grown because of the correction you received from someone else?

Read each of the following verses, noticing particularly what they say about correction:

• Proverbs 6:32
• Proverbs 10:17
• Proverbs 13:18
• Proverbs 15:10
• Proverbs 15:31-32

Make a list of five benefits people can receive if they listen to correction.

Read the entire chapter of today's proverb (whatever the date is, read that chapter of Proverbs).

Which verse or verses provided corrective advice for your life? How can you put that correction into action?

A Rash Decision With Terrible Results (Judges 11)

What is the worse promise you have ever made? Why did you make it? How did it turn out?

Talk about a promise you have made that you ended up breaking? Did you feel like you NEEDED to break it, or just that you WANTED to break it?

Judges 11 tells another story of Israel falling away from God and coming under captivity from a foreign king. This time, the deliverer raised up by God is Jephthah. He has an interesting back-story which is worth reading in Judges 11:1- 28. The enemy Israel is battling in this story is the Ammonites.

Read Judges 11:29-40. How do you feel about this story?

(These kind of vows and sacrifices weren't uncommon in the ancient world. According to the Canaanites, their god, Molech, demanded that children be occasionally sacrificed to him)

Was Jephthah right to make this vow to God? Was he right to keep the vow? Why do you think this story is in the Bible?

Is the story of Jephthah given to us as an example? Why or why not?

Sometimes we make promises (or vows) too quickly. What causes people to make rash decisions? When have you made a decision too quickly and later regretted it?

Read Proverbs 20:25. What do you think this verse means? How does it apply to Jephthah? How does it apply to you?

Read Psalm 119:9-16. These verses give a recipe for making wise decisions. Using your own words, make a list of the pieces of advice given here. How can following this advice help you to avoid foolish promises and decisions?

What difficult decision do you need to make in the coming days? What bad decision do you know you need to avoid? How will you approach this decision from a biblical perspective? How can this group help you?

MORE: An exploration of resolutions (Proverbs 14:15)

What is a New Years resolution you or a friend have made that was completely unrealistic? How did it turn out?

What other goals have you set for yourself (or have others set for you) that were impossible to achieve? How do you respond when faced with an impossible task?

What seemingly impossible spiritual goals or tasks would you like to accomplish? Why do they seem so difficult?

Read Proverbs 14:15. What do you think this Proverb means?

How can one be thoughtful of the steps they take in life? Why is this important? Give some examples of people who haven't been thoughtful about the steps they took in life. What were the results?

What are some other biblical principles or verses that talk about the steps we take in life? Do you think it's true that every step we take makes us nearer to or further from God? Why or why not?

Talk about the following spiritual goals. Which seems easiest? Which seems most difficult? Why?

1. Be someone who lives like Christ and loves like Christ.
2. Be someone who is generous with the resources God has provided.
3. Be someone who is constantly inviting others to meet Jesus.

Instead of focusing on the great leap required to accomplish these goals, think about the steps you might take to help you move in a direction toward these goals.

What is a step you can take this week to help you be more like Christ? What is a step you can take this week to help you be a more generous person? What is a step you can take this week to help you be a more inviting person?

How can this group support you as you seek to become MORE Christlike, generous, and inviting?

Who Impresses You? (1 Samuel 16)

Who is your favorite (have everyone answer two or three of these):

• Movie Star
• Athlete
• News Person
• TV actor/actress
• Reality TV character
• Author
• Politician
  
• Fictional Character
• Celebrity

What makes this person "impressive" to you?

Read 1 Samuel 16:1-7.

Why do you think Samuel though Eliab was God's chosen king? (verse 6) What criteria do you think Samuel was using in his thought process?

Why do you think God rejected Eliab?

Verse seven says that "the LORD looks at the heart." What do you think that means?

How do you feel about knowing that God is looking at your heart right now? Is he impressed with you? Why or why not?

What kinds of things do not impress God? (Read Proverbs 6:16-19) Have a few people give practical examples of these things.

What kind of heart does impress God? (Read Galatians 5:22-26) Have a few people give practical examples of these things.

What kind of people should impress us? What kind of people should not impress us? Have you observed times when people get this backward?

How has this discussion caused you to re-consider your view of yourself and other people?

Two Things You Need in Life (Proverbs 30)

If you could ask one person in this room anything, what would you ask them?

If you could God for any two things, knowing you would receive them, what would you request?

Read Proverbs 30:7-9. Summarize in your own words what Agur (the author) is asking God to provide for him.

Why would someone need to ask God to "keep him honest"? Why not just resolve to be an honest person?

Give an example of situations in life that might push someone toward dishonesty. How can these kinds of situations be avoided?

Do you agree with Agur's reason for not wanting to be rich? Why or why not?

How could wealth cause someone to deny God?

Is poverty an excuse for stealing? Is the author here suggesting that it is? Why or why not?

It seems that this passage indicates that our life situations often dictate the types of temptations we will face.

Talk about a time you've been in a life situation which has tempted you to respond incorrectly. How did you handle it? Was there a better way to handle it?

Is it okay to ask God to give us good life circumstances so that we don't sin?

How are you going to pray for yourself this week? How can we pray for you?

Walking With the Wise (Proverbs 13:20)

Talk about a time you were lost, and how did you get "un-lost".

Which would you rather have with you on a journey, a map or a guide? Why?
(Likely people will be split on this. Talk about the benefits and drawbacks of each)

In the journey through life, God has provided us with both a map and guides. The map is His Word, the guides are those people with whom we have relationships.

Give an example of a friend who provided you with good guidance in life.

Give an example of someone you've seen who has been given bad guidance in life.

Read Proverbs 13:20. In your own words, explain what you think it means to "walk with someone."

Make a list of the benefits that result from walking through life with a wise person.

Make a list of the possible harms that result from being the companion of a foolish person. (here is a list according to Proverbs of some of the things a fool does:commits adultery, babbles, slanders others, does wrong for fun, quick-tempered, talks proudly, unwilling to learn, schemes, etc.)

Can you think of any examples you've seen lately on the news or in life that illustrate the truth of this proverb?

What kinds of things should you look for in a friend?

The Bible is clear that we should love everyone (even fools) and that we should do everything possible to bring everyone (even fools) to Jesus. How can you influence a foolish person for good without allowing them to influence you for harm?

What is one thing you need to do this week as a result of reading this Proverb?

Living the "Better" Life (Proverbs 15-16)

Talk about a time you gave something up so you could have something better.

Everyone makes choices in life. How do you make decisions about the "better" things in life you want to pursue? What role does the Bible play in those decisions.

Read Proverbs 15:16-17. Why is it sometimes better to be poor than to be rich?

What factors might cause you to prefer riches to poverty?

How might you practically apply this Proverb?

Read Proverbs 16:8. Give an example of how someone might act unjustly in their pursuit of wealth.

Is it possible to pursue wealth without acting unjustly?

Discuss how someone might do this.

Read Proverbs 16:16. Why do you think wisdom is more beneficial than money? Are there any exceptions?

If you have time, you can also discuss Proverbs 16:19.

All of these Proverbs make an argument that sometimes it is BETTER to be poor than to be rich. How have these verses challenged your thinking about money? What financial decision will you make this week in order to be obedient to Scripture?

Wisdom is Worth Pursuing (Proverbs 1,2)

What are three things you've pursued in the past week?

According to Proverbs 1:2-3, what are some of the benefits of attaining wisdom?

What do you think it means to live a "disciplined and prudent life"? Who is someone you would describe as a prudent person? What makes them prudent?

Four kinds of people are listed in Proverbs 1:4-5. With which of these people do you most identify? Why?

Which of these four people would you most like to imitate? Why?

Proverbs 1:7 names the one kind of person who will never attain wisdom. In your opinion, what kind of behavior makes someone a fool?

What advise would you give to a fool?

Proverbs 1:7 says "The fear of the LORD is the beginning of knowledge". What do you think it means to "fear the LORD?"

Talk about something in your past about which you were obsessed. How did you demonstrate your obsession?

Read Proverbs 2:1-4. What obsession is the author of Proverbs encouraging? How would someone behave who was obsessed with obtaining wisdom?

Read Proverbs 2:5. What is the result of being obsessed with wisdom?

What is one step you can take this week to pursue wisdom?

Wisdom is ACTING on Your Knowledge (Proverbs)

What is the "dumbest" mistake you have ever made? How could you have avoided this mistake?

When you think about the book of Proverbs, what are the first thoughts that come to mind? How would you explain to someone what a "proverb" is?

Read Proverbs 1:4,5. Four different kinds of people are listed here, which ones are descriptive of you (it may be more than one)? What benefit do you think you could receive from studying the book of Proverbs?

According to Proverbs 1:7, what is the beginning of wisdom? How would you define, "the fear of the LORD"?

Give an example of someone you know who doesn't respect God (don't use their name!). How does someone's attitude toward God impact their ability to make wise decisions?

Read Proverbs 1:22-27. Verse 23 talks about responding to a "rebuke". When was the last time you were rebuked? How did you respond?

According to Proverbs, what is the result for those who do not accept rebukes? Have you ever seen an example of this?

How can we gain wisdom through the rebukes of other people?

Wisdom is more than just KNOWING what to do. It is ACTING upon that knowledge. What are some practical steps you can take this week to pursue wisdom? What actions do you already know you need to take?

What Makes Something Right or Wrong

Ultimately, our opinion of "right and wrong" will have the most significant impact on our decision making.  It is actually our decision making that is the practical application of our belief.  This discussion is designed to be a biblical survey of decision making principles.

Read Exodus 20:2-17 and/or make a list of the 10 Commandments.

How might the 10 commandments serve as a guideline for living rightly today?  Create a list of issues which don't seem to be covered by the 10 commandments.

Read Mark 12:28-24.

How might these 2 commands serve as a guideline for living rightly today?  Create a list of issues which don't really fit under these two commands.

Have someone in your group read each of the following passages.  After each reading, have the group discuss how this passage can serve as a guideline in decision making:

• Psalm 119:105
• Proverbs 3:5-6
• Proverbs 15:22
• Romans 14:13-16
• 1 Corinthians 10:31-33
• 1 John 2:15-17

As a group, read Galatians 5:18-25.

Have group members discuss which of the items from the first list (vs.19-21) most often represent their decision making.

Have group members discuss which of the items from the second list (vs. 22-23) most often represent their decision making.

Have each group member share something they would like to do differently in their decision making this week.  Pray for one another and look for opportunities during the week to encourage one another.

Exploring Prayer as An Act of Worship

This is a group activity designed to explore prayer as an act of worship.

STEP ONE: Prepare Yourself.

Read Proverbs 15:8. Who does God love to hear prayer from? Does this usually describe you? Why or why not?

Read Psalm 68:18. When does God not hear our prayers? Why do you think this is?

Take some time as a group to pray silently. Have everyone think of sins they may be "keeping" in their heart. Encourage them to make those right with God and to commit to break the chains of those sins for good.


STEP TWO: Posture Yourself.

Read Psalm 95:6. What posture is suggested for worship?

You can tell a lot about someone by their posture. Someone who has their arms crossed, is probably not happy with you. Someone leaning forward to listen, probably wants to hear what you have to say. What does the posture of bowing down communicate?

Even if you cannot bow down while praying, how can your attitude reflect an attitude of bowing down?


STEP THREE: Praise God.

Read Psalm 71:8 and Psalm 34:1. What might it look like to praise God all day?

As a group, list 25 things you can praise God for.


STEP FOUR: Pursue God.

Read Psalm 46:10. What do you think it means to "be still"? How can being still help you in your relationship with God.

As a group, spend some time "being still" and pursuing God.

Close your time with group prayer. Have as many as want to pray a prayer of praise or thanksgiving.

Learning to Be Discerning

As a group list some of the most "unwise" things you've seen someone do.

Read Proverbs 15:31. As a group, come up with some examples of a "life-giving" rebuke.

Read Proverbs 18:15. As a group, create a definition of "discernment".

Every time you hear, see, read (etc.) something, you have to sort it through a set of criteria in your mind to determine whether or not it is true and good. Sometimes, things are obvious, but sometimes they are not so clear. Discernment becomes important when you are trying to decide whether or not to believe those things you have heard.

List four criteria you might use to determine the value of an idea or statement.

Read Proverbs 19:20. How does this passage tie together the other passages you've read during this time.

Spend some time talking times you have been given wise advice or instruction. Tell the group whether or not you followed it, and what the result is. Talk about the current issues in your life where you need some discernment.

Encourage and pray with one another.

Proverbs: Living Like the Wise Man

Read the following verses and write down what the wise person does in each of them:

Proverbs 1:5
Proverbs 10:8
Proverbs 10:14
Proverbs 10:19
Proverbs 13:1
Proverbs 13:20
Proverbs 14:16 (two things)
Proverbs 18:15

What are some things that stand out in these passages? Write some of your thoughts about wisdom.

Look over your list of things that a wise person does. Choose three things from that list that you would like to do better.


Read Proverbs 9:8,9. As a group, re-write these two proverbs in your own words.

What do you think it means to "rebuke" a wise man? What do you think it means to "instruct" a wise man?

Give an example of someone you've known who usually responds wisely to rebuke and instruction.

What role should rebuke and instruction play in this group?

Wisdom (Proverbs)

Have each person in the group share about the person who has been most influential in their life

Have each person in the group share about someone in their life whom they have been able to influence.

As a group, develop a good definition of "wisdom".

Make a list of the five wisest people your group knows.

Look up the following verses and discuss what they each teach about a wise person:

• Proverbs 9:12
• Proverbs 13:14
• Proverbs 15:20
• Proverbs 17:2

Which of these verses made the greatest impact on your group?  Why?

Clearly, wisdom is something to be pursued.  As a group, identify 3-5 ways someone can gain wisdom.

Take time before you go to pray for wisdom.

What's That In Your Eye? (Matt. 7:1-5)

Together, read Matthew 7:1-5.

When Jesus said, “Do not judge, or you too will be judged.”, do you think he meant men will judge us or God will judge us? Why? (can you say “both”?)

How have you heard or seen people use verse 3 wrongly? (perhaps in self-defense?)

Consider three possible reasons someone might take a judgmental attitude toward others:

* To feel better about themselves

* To avoid thinking about their own faults

* Because they see similar weaknesses in themselves

Have you ever been judgmental toward someone for one of these reasons? Talk about how you could have done it differently.

Does this passage mean we should never approach or confront someone who is doing something wrong? Why or why not?

Read the following passages and talk about what they teach us regarding confrontation:

* Proverbs 9:8

* Proverbs 13:1

* Proverbs 25:12

* Proverbs 28:23

As a group develop some guidelines for “healthy confrontation”.

What are the “planks in your eye” (some areas in your life that you need to correct)?